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Shelley Stile - EzineArticles.com Expert Author
Shelley Stile is a certified Life Coach specializing in working with divorced and/or divorcing women and men to guide them to not only survive the divorce process, but to create new and exciting lives . She trained with CTI, Coaches Training Institute and the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching's Spiritual Divorce.
Shelley is a member of the ICF, The International Coaches Federation, which is the governing body for coaching worldwide and the International Speakers ... [More]
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- Does Divorce Have to Have a Negative Impact on Our Kids?
[Relationships:Divorce] Going through a divorce where there are children involved is an anxiety-provoking scenario with much worry on the past of the parents as to what negative effects the divorce will have on their kids. I firmly believe that it isn't so much the divorce but how you choose to handle the divorce that will have the greatest impact on your children. Living in an unhappy household where two parents are continually arguing does not serve anyone, least of all the kids. If you have done everything in your power to make your marriage work and have found that it still doesn't, divorce is the natural outcome. To live in a house where there is intense tension, fighting and coldness between a husband and wife only serves to make the kids anxious, worried and unhappy...
- Divorce Recovery - Beware of Expectations
[Relationships:Divorce] In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the phrase, 'should be'. In order to let go of the pain of our divorce, we must let go of impossible expectations.
- Life After Divorce - Living With Change and Uncertainty
[Relationships:Divorce] The universe is in a constant state of flux. Nothing ever remains the same. In this respect we are a mirror of the universe. Look back on your life and see how it has been one change after another laced with constant uncertainty. Just when you think things have settled in they change again.
- Divorce - Freedom is the Reward For Letting Go
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded towards whatever goal you establish for yourself.
- Divorce - Acceptance of Your New Reality
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] What do you think of people who are detached from reality? People that are seemingly living in a world of their own making? It's unnerving to say the least as well as truly sad. Yet for those of us attempting to recover from a divorce, our inability to fully accept our new reality is not too far removed from living in a fantasy world.
- Life After Divorce - The Power of Acceptance
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] In Divorce Recovery, as well as any other major loss in life, acceptance is the most important and most difficult step we must take towards releasing the past and beginning a new chapter of life. By acceptance I mean the acceptance of your reality, as it exists for you right now: what is and not what we think should or could be. Acceptance means being conscious and accepting of your reality with no illusions or personal interpretations or filters. It also involves giving up blame, resentment and regret. The ability to let go of those negative emotions is true acceptance, which ultimately gives you the freedom to move forward.
- How to Handle Your Emotions During Divorce
[Relationships:Divorce] Learn to recognize your 'danger zone'. Your danger zone is that place where you are prone to reactive behavior and emotional upsets. Once you begin really tuning into your body's cues, you will recognize this place and can take action to not go there.
- Divorce - You Can't Always Get What You Want
[Relationships:Divorce] The Rolling Stones were actually very smart. They were dead-on when they sang that you can't always get what you want but you get what you need... that is if you are paying attention to what is being offered. When we wish, pray or hope for something, what we actually might be gifted with is the situation in which to manifest that gift.
- Divorce - So-Called Mistakes Are Life Lessons
[Relationships:Divorce] Your divorce is not a failure or a mistake. People miss an incredible opportunity to learn, grow and change for the better when they view their divorce through the lens of failure. A so-called failure is actually a lesson in how not to do something and an invaluable tool for doing things right and in your self-interest in the future.
- Divorce Recovery - Acceptance of What Was and What Is
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorces discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what our life is now, in the present. This second step in the acceptance process seems to be the more difficult hurdle to overcome but it can be overcome successfully.
- Divorce Recovery - Are Your Fears Holding You Back?
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome.
- Victimhood - The Curse of Divorce Recovery
[Relationships:Divorce] Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless. To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one's life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.
- How to Forgive After Divorce
[Self-Improvement:Techniques] Forgiveness is a miraculous act that serves as a release valve that propels us forward into a new life after divorce. To forgive is to be truly free, to be unencumbered by the past. The problem or challenge with forgiveness is that it is very difficult and oftentimes near impossible for us to go there, especially if we are leaving an abusive relationship of some sort.
- The Real Divorce - Cutting The Ties That Bind
[Relationships:Divorce] Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex-husband.
- Moving On After Your Divorce
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] There is no single more powerful stumbling block to moving beyond our divorce into a new life than the inability to accept our new reality. Acceptance is the hardest part of the divorce recovery process. Acceptance requires total honesty, courage and the willingness to let go of the life that we had...a life that no longer exists. Without that acceptance, we cannot move forward and create a new life.
- Recovering from Divorce - Honor the Truth
[Relationships:Divorce] Do you remember the old adage that states there's your side, there's my side and then there's the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the newfound freedom to gain clarity, discover our options and make real choices that are based in reality and not a subjective interpretation of what is. The past no longer runs the show. A world of possibilities opens that we might otherwise have missed.
- Divorce Recovery - Releasing Toxic Emotions and Thoughts
[Relationships:Post-Divorce] The way to recover and thrive after divorce is simple: Until you can release the toxic emotions surrounding your divorce, it is impossible for you to move forward in life and be happy. It takes enormous commitment and effort but it can be achieved. If you want to lead a new life that is both fulfilling and happy, you must let go of the negative emotions and thoughts that hold you back from creating a life you love. And guess what else? Who do you suppose pays the biggest price when it comes to toxic emotions? You.
- Cultivate Awareness and Change Your Life - Lessons From the Rain Forest
[Self-Improvement:Goal-Setting] If one is to discover the creatures that reside in the Costa Rican rainforest, one must focus intently, pay close attention and be aware at all time or you will miss all the forest has to offer. It is much the same in life. Being aware of all that we think and do and see not only opens up new worlds but it also lets us see clearly what we must do to achieve our goals in life and be truly happy and successful.
- Reconnecting With Your Teenagers
[Home-and-Family:Parenting] Raising a teenager is difficult to say the very least! More often than not, our days are filled with nagging, cajoling and disciplining. Communication is nil and mood swings prevail. How to reconnect?
- The Cost of Being Right - A High Price to Pay
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] One of the highest prices we pay in life is the cost of being right. Some of us will sacrifice almost anything just in order to be the last one standing. A person who had been surrounded by their peers now sits alone, safe in the knowledge that he or she is right in their viewpoint even though they have alienated everyone around them. The ego is a mighty powerful entity left unchecked.
- How to Succeed as A Salesperson in a Down Real Estate Market
[Real-Estate:Selling] When the real estate market was booming, being a success was not the challenge it is today. I As in all things in life, it is not the good times that are a true indicator of either our character or our ability to succeed but the tough times that bring out our very best. Those individuals who can somehow adapt to the changes that life throws at them and make the necessary changes in behavior will continue to thrive.
- How Gratitude Can Change You Life
[Self-Improvement:Happiness] Gratitude has been shown ,via research studies, to be the key to a happier and more productive life; a life filled with more optimism and therefore more energy; a life that is more meaningful and fulfilled.
- Creating Postive Changes in Your Life
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] Contrary to a widely held belief that people do not change, I submit to you that people do change and often in dramatic, life-altering ways. Creating positive change in your life is totally possible. You can change yourself and thereby your life.
- The Good Life
[Self-Improvement:Happiness] I was listening to the MSNBC on the radio the other day when a feature came on entitled, 'The Good Life'. They proceeded to discuss a $14,000 dessert being offered in Sri Lanka that included, amongst other things, an aquamarine. No kidding. This is how MSNBC characterizes the good life. It struck me how in our culture we define the good life more in terms of the consumption of material goods than in relationship to any other quality.
- Conscious Living - The Key To Positive And Lasting Change
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] When we are full conscious of our actions, without the filters imposed upon us by the past, we free ourselves to create positive and lasting change in our lives. By starting to notice how strong our unconscious is and its impact on our lives, we empower ourselves to make decisions and take actions that come from our authentic self and therefore are bound to be in our best interest and destined to last.
- Relationships - Why Do They Change?
[Relationships] Relationships. Why do they change? So often we find ourselves struggling to maintain a long-term relationship that somehow doesn't feel as good as it used to. Our sense of history and loyalty motivate us to do whatever we can to keep that relationship alive. How do we know when it is time to move on?
- Our Aging Parents
[Home-and-Family:Elder-Care] I am now in the generation whose parents are getting old and sick. It's the cycle of life. I remember when my grandfather was in the hospital dying. My Father was by his bedside all the time. Now we are facing that stark reality: our parent's decline and their mortality. Our parents are in a stage of life that is not only difficult for them but for us as well, physically and mentally. How do we deal with the inevitable changes they go through? How do we create a relationship that will support them during these difficult times?
- Divorce - Pain and Rebirth
[Relationships:Divorce] Divorce is a painful experience that our married friends sometimes just don't get. We need to go through that pain and then re-create a life for ourselves that is better and more fulfilling.
- Transforming Your Significant Relationship
[Relationships] How do we make our primary personal relationship in life the best it can be? Acceptance.
- Our Children's Future
[Home-and-Family:Parenting] How can we do our best to ensure our kids have a bright future? First, we need to identify what we truly want for our children and then move on to creating concrete ways to instill in them the traits necessary for a bright future.
- The Head Banging Syndrome-Stop Bad Habits
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] Why do we continue to do the things that don't work? Bad habits that come about as a result of the "stuff" we hold onto gets in the way of success and a life worht living.
- Don't Settle for Less
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] If we ignore signs of dissonance and dissatisfaction in our lives, we may live to regret it. Our time is finite and we all deserve a life well lived, filled with fulfillment, contentment and joy. This applies to all areas of our life - be it work, relationships, whatever. We can learn how to heed the signs of discontent and gain clarity on what is off kilter. Once we gain on how to create positive in our lives.
- The Second Half of Life
[Self-Improvement:Coaching] Baby boomers face the realization that they are in the second half of life and time is finite. This article will show them how to maximize the time left and have a life that they have always envisioned. We will learn to connect with our core values and passions and create a life truly worth living.
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