One of the tools I share in my customer service teachings is the Transition Phrase.

Typically, it consists of a conciliatory set of words, followed by vital information.

"Well I understand that" is an often heard Transition Phrase. Used in a timely and appropriate way:

(1) It builds an emotional bridge to the client, almost as if we're saying "I get you" or "I know where you're coming from" or "I can relate."

(2) It says, "You don't have to continue explaining, I see the problem."

(3) And it tacitly says, "We're in the same boat; you're not abnormal to say what you have said."

That's pretty cool stuff, and quite impressive when you consider that a little phrase can clearly conjure up so much, so fast.

But there is a dark side to this technique, when it seems absolutely insincere, and consequently it fails as a device, potentially ruining not only a conversation but also a customer relationship.

The other night, when I called in for help in adjusting an erroneous billing statement issued by my web host, the customer service rep said: "I understand that" and then, defying all logic, steadfastly refused to apply proper credit to my account.

I blasted back, "You DON'T UNDERSTAND, because if you did appreciate the error, and you calculated the credit properly you'd make the precise adjustment I've asked for!"

"Well, I understand" she replied once more, absolutely on autopilot at this point, crashing the conversation.

May I make a clear point to her and to everyone else? Understanding-Necessitates-Action.

For example, if you are a parent and you understand that your infant is crying because she has wet her diaper, you change it right away. You eliminate the offensive condition.

Coddling the little creampuff with cooing and cajoling won't work. If there is a physical cause, you invoke a physical cure, and pronto!