Stage Three: The Assertive Stage

Frequently, girls who develop anorexia have a history of being friendly, protective, compliant, agreeable, and non confrontational- usually they are not assertive out side their immediate family (where they can be opposite). The third stage develops when the girl with anorexia has been criticized for becoming too thin by many around her. The girl has disregarded their scolding, and now their demands to stop losing weight and to start gaining are renewed. Around some time the girl realizes that for the first time in her life she has become defiant to everyone around her. From this point on conflict doesn't bother her. She doesn't worry about what other think or say about her actions. She doesn't feel the need to please them.

The anorexic is aware, however, that she is comfortable with this new-found defiance only in defense of her anorexia. The girl or woman does at least feel a new sense of empowerment, even if its only in this one area. It has become the area that's the most important to her. The young girl demonstrates to her family that she has reached the third stage when she begins to demand special conditions before she will eat. For example, the girl may drag her loved ones from restaurant to restaurant in search for the perfect fat-free meal or menu. At home, she may watch over whoever is cooking to make sure they aren't adding any extra calories with the meal. These are sure signs that the disorder is getting worse and help is needed.