I have a confession to make.

Sometimes I'll start an online discussion and instantly press the STOP button.

The discussion will take place, but without my participation. I won't be notified by email when people have posted comments, nor will I read them.

From time to time, I might COUNT them, however.

If a lot of comments are logged in a short period of time this signifies, typically, that I have touched a nerve. That's good to know, and it suggests to me that I might pursue the topic in a broader and more profitable context.

Numerous comments can also signify that someone has hijacked the exchange, steering it away from its initial premise. But of course I won't realize this if I'm not present to monitor its drift.

I benefit from detachment in several ways:

(1) I can invest my time with other things, most notably with my business and writing.

(2) I'm not interrupted with online screamers and nut-cases every so many minutes, making chopped cabbage of my concentration.

(3) If I want to survey the scene, taking full measure of what was said I can do so, later on, when the waters become more placid.

(4) I'm still performing a service of sorts, enabling others to have a nice discussion that could be enhanced by my lack of intrusion.

I also appreciate the irony, once more, of a famous Zen story.

A fellow is in his boat when he spots an approaching craft slowly coming his way. He thinks, "Gee, if he stays on the same course, he'll ram my little skiff."

A few minutes later, his alarm grows as the approaching ship gets larger and more menacing.

"Hey," he cries out, "Change course! You're going to run into me!"

Finally, it's too late as his boat is bludgeoned and splintered.

Just before he sinks he notices that the rammer was not piloted. No one was at the helm. It was a ghost ship and he had been gesticulating for naught.

All he had to do to avoid disaster was to make a slight adjustment, one he controlled, completely.

Instead, he raged against a phantom force.

Before you send a torpedo at the next online vessel, ask yourself, "Is it hosted or ghosted?"